


hold me close, don't let go

by malfoysire



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: 5+1, Angst, Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Pain, They're both hurting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 12:14:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20907488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfoysire/pseuds/malfoysire
Summary: 5 times Billy was vulnerable with Steve in the dead of night + 1 time he didn't need to be.orBilly and Steve are dealing with the aftermath of Billy being possessed by the Mindflayer. They both know that it's slowly killing Billy, but that doesn't stop them from falling in deep.





	hold me close, don't let go

**Author's Note:**

> this is a very experimental wip. every scene takes place at midnight, in steve’s bed, and when things happen around them, i.e., hearing seagulls, it's not really happening, only in billy's mind. also I may or may not have cried writing this.

the clash of the waves erupting against the sand before returning to the place they once began. the shivering cold of the nightfall and a boy who never knew what it was like to not be alone. hushed whispers under blankets held like a sacred secret. “i think i could fall in love with you.” steve confesses. billy was brought back to the sea, reborn. lightning struck across the violet sky as his heart crashed into his ribcage. the heavy words he couldn’t bring himself to say. “i don’t know what love is.” he whispers back. the moment was shattered. another wall built between them. a thumb caressing a cheek. a silent understanding. “you’ll know.” steve breathes, “you’ll know.” the world stayed black.

-

“will you find me again?” billy’s question was a thousand pound weight, crushing steve alive. could he hear it? the storm brewing underneath his skull. the quiet crunching of sand under his toes. the wind whipping around them in a quiet room. “what do you mean?” but steve didn’t need an answer. he didn’t want to say what billy was implying out loud. “when all of this ends. when  _ i  _ end.” when he crumbles into dust and spirals into the air. when his soft touch becomes a phantom hand. the sky cracks open.  _ always. always. always.  _ the mantra was tattooed behind steve’s eyelids. embedded in his veins. but it was too much for billy. for him to know steve couldn’t live without him. so instead he spoke softly, “of course i will.” it was easier to admit. but it wasn’t the answer billy was looking for. the tear inside his soul grew bigger. 

-

the sound of seagulls crowed outside his window pane. the earth was calling to billy. his time was running out. “do you feel it?” he pauses. “the pull of the earth to your feet? like you’re growing roots into the dirt and you can’t move. but you really want to. to break free. but there’s a voice in back of your head saying  _ stay.  _ and so you do. until the bad comes back. and by then it’s already too late.” steve is scared. his back turned to billy. tears pinpricked his eyes. wetness enveloped his cheeks. “no billy, i don’t.” his voice was shaking. the oxygen left billy’s lungs. he could feel his body being tied to the ground again. neither of them said a word for the rest of the night. 

-

the shadow inside billy grew. steve was watching the person he loved turn into a stranger. but he couldn’t save him. he couldn’t even save himself. “being with you makes me feel like i’m in california.” billy told him. steve’s heart was glowing, fingers intertwined as their breathes intermingled under the cloak of midnight. what billy really meant was, _ you’re the best thing to ever happen to me  _ but he didn’t have to say it aloud for steve to hear him. “i wish we had forever.” steve answered back. they deserved a million more moments like this, sprinkled like stardust over the course of time. each one imprinting on the universe. billy realized steve saw him begin to deteriorate. it wasn’t fair to him. but as billy gazed at steve, steve’s eyes were sparkling.  _ or maybe that’s just the way he always saw them.  _ kissing him felt as natural as breathing. 

-

when billy was slowly breaking, he thought of steve. he thought of their conversations when they first became friends. he thought of when steve’s brown eyes turned amber. when his splotchy freckles became constellations. but most of all, when harrington became steve. the name that would follow billy for the rest of his life. billy fought against the rage inside him. it wasn’t his. he woke up to smashed glasses and bloodied knuckles. another hole in the wall. but the memories never came to him. and steve was left to clean up his mess. billy became aggressive and irritated, even though every bone in his body was screaming for him to stop. but there was nothing he could do. it wasn’t him. he knew it was overtaking him. the monster consuming what was left of him. “i’m sorry steve, i’m so sorry. please forgive me.” but steve couldn’t bring himself to reply.

-

the story was ending. but billy was calm. he was ready for the peace to wash over him and take him back to the salt of the water. steve was crying. begging him not to go. but the words were caught in his throat. billy was losing his breath. steve’s hand cupped his cheek. the tears fell onto his shirt. the siren song of nature’s embrace rang in billy’s ears. billy knew what steve was saying, even if he couldn’t bring himself to speak. “billy.” his voice cracked. but what steve meant to say was  _ i love you more than anything. you’re my whole life. please stay with me. i love you, i love you, i love you.  _ the blood began burning under billy’s skin. the scorching pain of a vengeful beast wrapped around him. soon he would be free. there would be nothing left to anchor him to the ground. this time he would have to go. he was slipping away. the pain flashing in steve’s eyes haunted him as he grabbed at his body in desperation. but billy managed to return a small smile. his voice was meek and shaky as the ceiling was falling away, steve’s face now illuminated by the moonlight. the clock was ticking. it was time to say goodbye. “i know steve,” billy whispered, “i know.” 


End file.
